The holidays are full of strange situations and rituals—“we’re throwing kids into situations that they might not have had a lot of practice for,” says Stephanie Lee, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute’s ADHD and Behavior Disorders Center in New York—so talk with your kids about them beforehand. If you’re doing a huge shopping run with your kids on New Year’s Eve, tell them that the store will be really busy and you want them to hold onto the shopping cart. If you’re going to a party and don’t want them playing upstairs, explain that before you arrive. And when they do meet or exceed your expectations, tell them that. “Catch them being good and reward them,” Lee says.