It’s an age-old problem for parents — your kid doesn’t listen or seems to deliberately ignore your request, or every conversation somehow spirals into an argument. But you can improve communication with them by practicing skills taught in dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). These skills — steps for effectively communicating and building better relationships — use acronyms such as DEAR MAN, GIVE, and STOP to help you remember what to do. And following the steps makes it more likely that you and your child can talk to each other calmly, avoid misunderstandings, and connect more effectively.

This week we are sharing resources to help when you and your child have a conflict, even a routine one. Any conflict can heighten emotions, and using DBT skills can help de-escalate. And because parent-child conflict can follow patterns, we also have pointers for recognizing common causes of problem behavior in kids and teens, including the ways anxiety, depression, and ADHD get expressed in defiance. We also have tips for how to model healthy coping skills to help kids understand that they aren’t the only ones who struggle with big feelings.

— Michelle Shih, Managing Editor | ✉