Our Voices

Heloísa

When we are children, we don’t really worry about what others think. We are just ourselves, with our own personality, without caring about comparisons. But as we grow up, especially during pre-adolescence, things start to change. Between sixth and seventh grade, around 12 or 13 years old, this phase can be quite challenging. It’s a transition into adolescence, and everything feels more intense. The environment becomes more toxic because there is immense pressure to achieve a kind of perfection—an ideal that doesn’t exist.

Estela

We feel a bit lost, trying to understand what we need to be to fit in as teenagers while realizing that we are no longer children. This creates a huge mental burden. Some people try to appear older by changing the way they dress and behave, while others still hold on to their childhood spirit, wanting to play and have fun as they used to.

Heloísa

The problem is that the environment influences us a lot. The judgment from others makes many people feel pressured to change, even if that’s not what they truly want. It’s as if they have to fit into a mold to be accepted. But something I’ve noticed is that after the age of 14, this pressure starts to fade. We begin to care less about this need for acceptance and realize that we don’t have to follow an imposed standard. We look at older people and understand that, in the end, it wasn’t as important as we once thought. And when we realize that younger kids look up to us the same way we used to look up to teenagers, we understand that this is all part of a cycle.

Heloísa

Other forms of pressure for me came from ballet which at first, I thought was interesting, but at the same time, it wasn’t something I did because I truly loved it. I trained from Monday to Friday, and at some point, it started to feel too overwhelming. There was so much to do that I felt like I was missing out on things a kid should be experiencing. I didn’t have time to play or just enjoy school because everything revolved around ballet. And to make things worse, the environment wasn’t great. Besides the pressure from training, there was a lot of competition among the students, which only made everything harder.

Over time, I realized it was making me feel bad. Instead of being something that made me happy, it just made me more exhausted and sad. I felt overwhelmed. Even the simplest daily tasks became difficult because my mind was always stuck in that routine.

I kept thinking too much: “Tomorrow I have ballet class, I need to prepare, I need to do well…” and it consumed me. The competition only made this pressure worse because it felt like I could never make mistakes, never be anything less than perfect.

In the end, it was just too much pressure for someone my age. Dancing should be something fun and light, but for me, it had become a burden.

Estela

People create an ideal—how you should act, how you should dress, how your body should look, even how you should think. And if we stop to really analyze it, it doesn’t even make that much sense. But still, everyone tries to fit into this mold. We compare ourselves all the time and put this huge weight on our shoulders, believing we have to be a certain way, just like someone else, as if that’s the most important thing. But in reality, it’s not. It’s just that, in the moment, no one realizes it.

Heloísa

I think the biggest challenge for teenagers nowadays is comparison.

At this stage of our lives, it feels like we’re always being watched and judged. We care so much about our image, about what others think, that without even realizing it, we start changing ourselves just to avoid being criticized. And that becomes really toxic because no one can just be themselves without this constant pressure.

Estela

I think, over time, we understand that we don’t need to constantly change ourselves just to fit in. We can just be who we are, without all this pressure.

Heloísa

The environment becomes more toxic because everyone is trying to reach a level of perfection that doesn’t even exist. The pressure is always there, but after 14, I think it starts to ease a little. We begin to realize that we don’t need to prove anything to anyone and that, in the end, none of this was as important as we once thought.

When we were kids, we used to look at teenagers as if they were amazing—the way they dressed, the way they talked… But when we finally reach this stage, we realize it’s not really like that. And the funniest thing is that while we’re trying so hard to reach this “ideal,” younger kids start looking up to us the same way we used to admire teenagers. In the end, it’s just a cycle.

Estela

And there are some people who just don’t want to go along with all of this, you know? They’re not worried about looking older, dressing differently, or trying to act like adults before their time. Some people still have that childlike spirit—they still enjoy going outside to play, doing the things they’ve always done. But the problem is that the people around them create so much pressure about how we’re “supposed” to be that it becomes hard to just be ourselves.

In the end, a lot of people end up forcing themselves to change—not because they want to, but because they’re afraid of being judged. It’s like there’s this unspoken rule that you have to grow up fast, act a certain way, dress a certain way… But what if you just want to be yourself? It’s like everyone is pretending to have grown up when, deep down, they still just want to play.

Heloísa

We’re constantly able to see what other people are doing. We’re always talking, always keeping up with each other’s lives… it’s nonstop. Before, when there were no cell phones, things were different. Like, you’d leave school on Friday, go home, do your own thing, and only on Monday would you tell your friends what you did over the weekend. It was more private, more personal.

Estela

Now, anyone can know what I did—even people who aren’t my friends. And at the same time, I can also see what everyone else did, even complete strangers. So, it just turns into this never-ending cycle of comparison. I think, for me, that’s the biggest pressure—seeing all this all the time and constantly comparing myself.

Like you said, it happens all the time, in everything—it’s not just about school grades, but also about lifestyle, appearance… basically, anything. It feels like we’re always trying to reach a standard that, most of the time, isn’t even real. And I think social media plays a huge role in that. We have access to so much all the time that we end up comparing ourselves without even realizing it.

Heloísa

Take me and Stela, for example—if someone looks at our Instagram and sees what we post, they’re not actually seeing reality. There’s nothing there about the times we feel sad, or the moments we think we look bad… only the best parts show up: pictures of the beautiful places we went to, the moments when everything seemed perfect.

Estela

And the craziest part is, we know it’s not real. We know that even what we post about our own lives isn’t the full picture. But still, when we look at other people’s profiles, it feels real. And then that thought comes: “Wow, my life isn’t as good as theirs.”

I think that’s what affects us the most. And our phones just make it worse because we’re constantly looking at all of this without even realizing how much it impacts us.