When to Worry About an Anxious Child

Q: When should parents worry about a child’s anxiety?

Parents should be concerned about a child’s anxiety when it interferes with their ability to handle everyday situations or prompts them to avoid things that most people their age enjoy.

Q: What is the difference between normal anxiety and severe anxiety that needs treatment?

Feeling anxious is a normal reaction to stressful situations, but severe anxiety might need treatment if a child can’t control it, it seems unrealistic or out of proportion to reality, or it interferes with their daily life.

Q: When do you know your child needs treatment for anxiety?

A child might need treatment for anxiety if their anxiety is severe, seems out of proportion to reality, interferes with their ability to function, or impacts the whole family.

Q: How is severe anxiety treated in kids?

Severe anxiety in kids can be successfully treated with behavioral therapy, sometimes in combination with antidepressant medication.

If uncontrollable thoughts and fears are taking over your child’s — and your family’s — life, it’s time to get help

Writer: Rachel Ehmke

en Español

Kids worry. Whether it’s fear of the dark, starting at a new school, or getting another pimple, children can take life very seriously. But some kids worry more than others. It’s always painful to watch a child suffer anxiety, but it’s especially difficult if you’re not sure whether they’re worrying too much and might need help.

The difference between normal worry and anxiety disorders is the severity of the anxiety. While feeling anxious is a natural reaction to stressful situations, anxiety becomes a disorder when it interferes with a child’s ability to handle everyday situations or prompts them to avoid things that most people their age enjoy. Here are some guidelines for distinguishing an anxiety disorder from ordinary anxiety.

Severe anxiety is unrealistic.
After having sex, a girl might worry that she has become pregnant. Someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder might worry that they are pregnant even though they have never had sex.
Severe anxiety is out of proportion.
A high school sophomore might stress over taking the SAT. Someone with generalized anxiety disorder might stay awake at night worrying about the same test — even though they are only in third grade.
Severe anxiety is being overly self-conscious.
A boy might feel nervous about talking to girls in his class. Someone with social anxiety disorder might avoid ordering in a restaurant because they’re afraid of humiliating themselves.
Severe anxiety is often unwanted and uncontrollable.
A kindergartener might cry at school because they misses their mother. Someone with separation anxiety might cry at school because they can’t stop thinking that their mother will die if they are away from her.
Severe anxiety doesn’t go away.
While anxiety symptoms are common and even expected after a disturbing experience, over time most children bounce back from them. Three months later, someone with post-traumatic stress disorder will still be having nightmares.
Severe anxiety leads to avoidance.
A child might be nervous about going to a birthday party. Someone with a specific phobia of loud noises might refuse to go to birthday parties at all because they’re afraid that a balloon might pop.

The common theme with all of these disorders, which are estimated to affect 13% of American children and adolescents in a given year, is that they make children’s lives much harder than they should be and limit the experiences they are able to have. The good news is that behavioral therapy, sometimes combined with medication, is very successful in helping kids overcome their anxieties.