When Problem Behavior Masks a Learning Disability

Every parent has experienced (or seen) a child melting down at school drop-off. But for the family of one 7-year-old, tantrums at the entrance were a daily occurrence. The girl was so distraught about going to school that she would cry and cling to her mom until the principal came out and physically helped her through the front door.

What was initially assumed to be anxiety or a behavior disorder turned out to be a learning disability. “When we assessed her, we found that she had dyslexia,” says neuropsychologist Angela Dewey, PhD. “She wasn’t being defiant — she was overwhelmed by reading and writing tasks.”

Children who struggle in school sometimes act out — resisting homework, refusing to participate, even becoming disruptive in class. To parents and teachers, it may come across as defiance or disinterest. But in many cases, these behaviors are signs of an undiagnosed learning disorder that can make school more challenging.

“A lot of times, parents come in saying their child is out of control,” says Dr. Dewey, who evaluates kids at the Child Mind Institute’s Gund Learning and Diagnostic Center. “What we sometimes find is that there’s an underlying learning issue that’s driving the behavior.”

Understanding the connection between behavior and learning disorders can help parents and educators provide the right support — and prevent children from falling behind academically and socially.

Learning disorders are rooted in how a child’s brain processes information. These neurological differences can make reading, writing, math, or paying attention much harder than for other kids. These difficulties are not due to a lack of intelligence or effort; rather, they stem from differences in brain function that make learning tasks more challenging.

Parents and teachers sometimes assume that a struggling child just isn’t trying hard enough. But as Dr. Dewey explains, “Kids do well when they can. If a child is acting out or refusing to do schoolwork, it’s usually not because they don’t want to learn. It’s because something is getting in their way.”

When kids can’t explain their struggles, their frustration often shows up in their behavior or even physical symptoms. A child may become easily frustrated with homework, seem disorganized, or refuse to follow directions. Anticipating a difficult school day can make kids anxious, leading to meltdowns, avoidance, or physical symptoms such as stomachaches.

“A lot of times, we see children who have learning disorders come in with symptoms that are very consistent with anxiety,” Dr. Dewey says. “For example, some kids with undiagnosed learning disorders have significant school avoidance, shutting down or even refusing to go inside the building. Others may have meltdowns before school but manage to regulate their emotions once inside the classroom. If a child consistently struggles in a particular subject and reacts strongly to school-related stress, it could be a sign of an underlying learning disorder.”

Dyslexia, a reading disorder, is one of the most common types of learning disabilities and often presents as a behavioral issue. A child who struggles to read may avoid reading assignments, refuse to read aloud, or become frustrated when asked to complete literacy-based tasks.

Children with dyslexia may also develop strategies to hide their difficulties. “Some kids become the class clown to distract from their reading struggles,” says Rachel Ganz, PhD, a neuropsychologist in the Gund Learning and Diagnostic Center at the Child Mind Institute. “Others may act like they don’t care or claim that reading is boring when, in reality, they’re struggling.”

Among the different types of learning disabilities, dyscalculia specifically impacts a child’s ability to work with numbers while dysgraphia affects their ability to write. Children with these disorders might procrastinate, “forget” assignments, or get upset when asked to do work specific to these areas.

Students with dysgraphia may struggle with handwriting, spelling, and organizing their thoughts on paper. “For some kids, writing a single sentence is exhausting and frustrating,” Dr. Ganz explains. “That frustration can lead to avoidance, and teachers might assume the child is just unmotivated.”

Dr. Ganz points out that school avoidance is often linked to learning difficulties. “Kids with undiagnosed learning disorders may feel sick before school, ask to go to the nurse, or frequently request bathroom breaks during class — especially before a difficult subject like reading or math.”

Although not technically a learning disorder, ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) also makes learning much more difficult. It is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects a child’s ability to focus, regulate impulses, and manage tasks. Kids with ADHD may have trouble following directions, staying on task, or sitting still — behaviors that can be mistaken for defiance.

“Parents will say their child can focus for hours on video games but not on homework, so they must just be lazy,” Dr. Dewey says. “But that’s not the case. Kids with ADHD struggle to regulate their attention, which means focusing on non-preferred tasks is much harder for them.”

Additionally, ADHD can affect emotional regulation. “Kids with ADHD often have a low frustration tolerance,” Dr. Ganz says. “They might go from zero to one hundred in an instant — throwing a tantrum over a simple homework assignment because they feel overwhelmed.”

It’s not only academics that suffer when a child has a learning disorder. They often affect a child’s social and emotional well-being, too.

“When kids struggle with academics, it often affects their confidence and self-esteem,” Dr. Dewey says. “They may feel embarrassed in front of their peers or worry about being called on in class. That anxiety can sometimes show up as avoidance, aggression, or complete shutdown.”

In some cases, children may develop anxiety or depression as a result of their struggles. “We see kids who internalize their academic difficulties, blaming themselves for not being smart enough,” Dr. Ganz says. “This can lead to feelings of worthlessness or even school refusal.”

Additionally, children with undiagnosed learning disorders may struggle with social interactions. They might have trouble keeping up with conversations, following rules in games, or remembering instructions. This can make it difficult to form friendships, leading to feelings of isolation.

Recognizing the signs of different types of learning disabilities is the first step, but figuring out what to do next can feel overwhelming. Fortunately, there are clear steps parents and teachers can take to better understand a child’s struggles and put the right support in place.

If your child’s behavior is raising red flags, the first step is to look for patterns. Are they struggling in a particular subject? Do they act out at certain times of the day? Identifying when and where the challenges occur can help uncover an underlying learning disorder.

Teachers and parents should track when behavioral issues occur. “If a child only acts out during reading or math, that’s a red flag that an underlying issue may be at play,” says Dr. Ganz. “Patterns give us important clues.”

Many schools have the ability to evaluate students for learning disorders. Private neuropsychological testing is also an option in the event testing isn’t available at your child’s school, you disagree with the school’s findings, or you wish to gain more personalized insight into your child’s specific disability.

“Early intervention can prevent years of frustration,” Dr. Dewey says. “Without a diagnosis, kids may internalize their struggles and believe they’re just not smart enough — which isn’t true.”

Once a learning disorder is identified, the right support can make all the difference. With targeted interventions, children can develop the skills they need to succeed academically and feel more confident in their abilities.

• For dyslexia: Multisensory reading programs such as Orton-Gillingham or Wilson Reading System can help children strengthen their literacy skills. Parents and teachers can also encourage the use of audiobooks, provide extra time on assignments, and use phonics-based instruction to build reading confidence.
• For math and writing disorders: Structured, step-by-step teaching methods, graphic organizers, and hands-on learning strategies can make complex math concepts easier to grasp. Speech-to-text tools and extra time on assignments can also support children who struggle with writing.
• For ADHD: Executive function coaching, structured routines, and behavioral therapy can help children manage focus, organization, and self-regulation, making school tasks more manageable. Medication can improve students’ ability to focus.

Schools can also provide accommodations such as extra time on tests or modified assignments to support children with learning disorders.

Early diagnosis and intervention can help children build confidence and avoid unnecessary frustration. “The earlier we identify a learning disorder, the sooner we can put supports in place,” Dr. Ganz says. “Getting a diagnosis isn’t about labeling kids — it’s about giving them the right tools to succeed.”